How are potential victims of sexual assault treated in Germany? Part 1
This is my experience with a potential sexual assault victim. Taking the little boy to the Kinderklinik/Uniklinikum in Würzburg was not a decision taken lightly, nor was it without foundation. There were a series of signs that preceded this decision. I witnessed a substantial change in his behavior and attitude, as well as physical signs that something was not quite right. All this since the last two times that I picked him up from his mother's residence.
Again, I repeat, this is not a direct or indirect accusation, my concern was based on the knowledge I’ve gained during my education and also my work, my reaction as a concerned parent and after consulting with a couple of experts on the subject. Something was scaring and bothering my son.
On the afternoon of June 23, 2023, my concerns grew even more when my baby began to cry inconsolably with fear in his eyes (I will not write in this post what symptoms or signs he showed, that will be in another post , since this post is to relate my experience with the Kinderklinik/Uniklinikum in Würzburg).
As I lived near Marktheidenfeld, the nearest hospital would be in Lohr am Main. I drove with my son there, and we arrived at exactly 8PM, just as the clinic was closing. We were still able to talk to a doctor, but she said they couldn't help us and I needed to take him to a special clinic for children in Würzburg.
We arrived in Würzburg at 21:30; When the nurse on duty (nurse 1) asked me the reason for my visit to the clinic, my answer was: It is not an accusation and I am not pointing fingers at anyone, but rather according to the behavior that I have seen in my baby in the last few days and when you put it all together, it seems to indicate that he is being molested.
I had to wait around 3 hours until the doctor (doctor 1) had time to check the baby. It is worth mentioning that there were only two more patients, one before us and another that came after us. Both were treated, no one else was waiting, but nonetheless we were still waiting for an available doctor.
Finally doctor 1 allowed us to enter the examination room. He asked me to undress the baby, it hurt me a lot to do it because my son was terrified and wouldn't stop crying desperately. Doctor 1 said that he would take notes (I didn't really see him taking notes) I only saw that he was taking photos of my son's private parts with his work cell phone, according to him.
Doctor 1 told me that there was nothing else he could do because he needed to talk to his superiors first, and since it was already the weekend, we had to stay in the hospital and wait until Monday. Doctor 1 also mentioned that on Monday the baby would be seen by several “specialists” who would carry out more detailed and precise tests including psychological tests by a psychiatrist (which makes sense because when there is abuse, not all marks are physical). Doctor 1 also mentioned the creation of a safety plan on Monday.
Around 12:45 AM I drove back home to pick up more clothes, diapers and food for the weekend. A few hours later that day (Saturday June 24th, 2023) I drove back to Würzburg. We arrived to the Kinderklinik/Uniklinikum at 8 AM as doctor 1 instructed me just hours before. I still found Doctor 1 at the clinic, however he seemed angry.
We waited another hour before we could talk to the morning shift doctor (doctor 2). She repeated the same thing, we needed to stay in the hospital until Monday for “professional specialists” to check the baby. At this point, doctor 2 asked if there was a custody dispute between me and the baby's mother. My answer was yes, we are going to court for my right to spend more time with my son. I stressed that our visit to the clinic was not related to the custody case, but based on my concerns as a parent.
Again, I was not asserting that the baby was being abused, I only took him to the Kinderklinik/Uniklinikum in Würzburg so the experts could confirm or explain why the baby's behavior changed drastically and why he was so scared and traumatized. Also, why his private parts were swollen and bloody.