How are potential victims of sexual assault treated in Germany? Part 3
Abuse is devastating for the victim and family members; coping mechanisms are also available for family members. Parents/siblings of the abused child may also need their own treatment services to help get the family through a tough event that can affect everyone. If a child reports the abuse to you there are some basic do and don’ts:
Do:
Offer comfort, ensure his/her safety, reassure the victim they did nothing wrong, reassure the victim that you believe them, offer comfort, report to authorities immediately.
Don’t:
Do not interrogate the child, do not use words that may scare the child (for example rape, jail, etc), do not act shocked or doubtful, do not accuse them of lying, do not blame or shame them.
Doctor 5 came to the overcrowded room, by this time, one of the patients had been discharged; doctor 5 asked the remaining patient to go out to another room while she would talk to us. To make is short, doctor 5 and nurse 2 informed us that they did not find any signs of abuse, the anxiety and fear of getting undressed in front of a doctor is normal for babies, that’s why he cried and had anxiety, and that there was no need for specialists to make further tests.
When I confronted them, nurse 2 said: I know you are upset, but this is all we can do here (wouldn’t you be upset as a parent?). Doctor 5 mentioned that the “Oberärtzin” (who turned to be the elderly doctor 7) saw the baby and she did not find anything. I pointed out to the fact that the “Oberärtzin” has not checked the baby, not even once, since the baby was in my arms at all times.
Nurse 2 continued explaining that she knew and accepted that the hospital did it wrong, that we should have at least seen a psychiatrist. This makes sense, when it was true my baby only displayed swollen genitals and a bit of blood (I use the word “only” sarcastically here), most of the visible symptoms he showed were related to his behavior and emotional trauma.
I think its easier to find physical signs of abuse in a girl, or what are your thoughts?
When I asked if that is how they treat victims or alleged (suspected) victims of sexual assault, Nurse 2 answers yes, that is all they can do at the hospital (a general checkup of weight, pulse, blood pressure, eyes and ears, lungs, and that’s pretty much what a general medical examination includes).
The following words from nurse 2 and doctor 5 left me speechless, they said: if I wanted a psychiatrist/psychologist to perform a medical/psychological examination to a baby suspected of being a victim of sexual abuse, “I had to find a psychiatrist myself and I had to pay for it”.
Additionally, they told me that I had to file a report with the police. When I asked doctor 5 and nurse 2 why they hadn't told me this on Friday night when I took the baby to the clinic, there was no explanation. If I had known, I would have immediately gone to the police that Friday and filed a complaint instead of wasting 4 days in the kinderklinik/uniklinik Würzburg!
It is not only the lack of professionalism, empathy, privacy, compassion, etc. but the fact that they did not believe me, that the burden of proof should be on the side of the victim instead of taking it seriously and doing professional examinations to find out if there was abuse or not.
Now I understand why so many people just suffer sexual abuse in silence instead of fully reporting it. What person wants to be seen as a liar, or embarrassed in front of nurses, doctors, other patients, even to the point to be treated like criminals? Who wants to go through that when claiming to be a victim? this is completely wrong.
My baby was released to his mother without any further action. The very short report states in part that it was a complicated family matter but that the baby was fine. I asked nurse 2 and doctor 5 if I was being discriminated because I am a father, or because I am foreigner, or because I don’t speak German well, or, or or?
I don't understand why they were so condescending to me. The staff did not care when the baby saw its mother and started crying and did not want to go with her; it broke my heart to see his beautiful eyes crying because he was being separated from his father, the person he felt safe and protected. On the other hand, the Kinderklinik/Uniklinikum gladly charged the health insurance company…
In my personal opinion, protocols have to change, "professionals" have to be retrained, only people with empathy should be hired for such important positions, and there must to be accountability if someone lies such as when they offer you to meet with specialists, make the patient wait for 3 days, and suddenly you find out from a third party that you and the potential abuse victim are not worth the time of the “professional specialists” who are supposedly committed to ensuring the well-being of all patients. Medical Doctors still abide by the Hippocratic Oath which stipulates in part:
"I SWEAR in the presence of the Almighty and before my family, my teachers and my peers that according to my ability and judgment I will keep this Oath and Stipulation.
I will treat without exception all who seek my ministrations… and I will seek the counsel of particularly skilled physicians where indicated for the benefit of my patient.
I WILL FOLLOW that method of treatment which according to my ability and judgment, I consider for the benefit of my patient and abstain from whatever is harmful or mischievous.
WITH PURITY, HOLINESS AND BENEFICENCE I will pass my life and practice my art”.
To read the full Hippocratic Oath click here.
But the dishonesty does not end there, Doctor 5 attested that the Overärtzin performed a medical examination on my baby, when I know for a fact that it did not happen. Shouldn’t it also be considered deceit, fabrication, misrepresentation, distortion, falsehood, an/or falsification?
I believe the violation of this oath should be considered negligence or disregard for human life, even criminal, or what are your thoughts? Potential victims, especially if they are our precious children, need to be protected, heard, sheltered, and keep safe. Thanks Kinderklinik/Uniklinikum in Würzburg.
Together we can change this attitude.
Please don’t forget to read my report of the Child Welfare Office (Jugendamt) in another post.